Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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