dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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