he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
did i walk over a car last night?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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