just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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