I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
