I'm so fucking centered right now
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
