You're my little dorito
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
