i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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