Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
