Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
