insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
