And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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