Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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