She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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