I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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