so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
