you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
