Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
