Pregnant stripper...not hot.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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