i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he was CRYING into my vagina
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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