yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
