ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
