omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
