oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
