So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
