Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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