I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
