lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
