this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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