We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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