A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
In other news, I just burned my penis
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
