So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
