I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
