how can u be prego again
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
