Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
two words...techno handjob
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
