i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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