went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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