Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
