My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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