then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
