I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
