i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
