Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
