PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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