Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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