my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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