If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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