Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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