When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
