i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
