i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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