gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I looked at my own cervix.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
