ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
