the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
